Cool blog entry on another site is the inspiration for my blog...(click on pic below to access the original blog posting by Mo Pie)
So I am interested in how men view larger women in America and decided to take my curiousty to the Internet. Before I go into a discussion of this topic, I want to share a little background on myself and provide a little insight on this subject.
Growing up, I was normal, maybe slightly on the heavier end of what was a normal weight for girls my age. When I hit puberty around 6th grade, my body changed and I began to struggle with my weight. I have lived through high school, college and now into my 20s as a "pretty yet chubby fat chick."
I have dated, loved and lost and have been through fashion hurdles and diets gone wrong. I have always been self-conscious of my weight and body and have always dressed tasteful, yet trendy. I have been told by both men and women that I am very pretty and carry my weight well. I am a size 16/18 depending on the article of clothing and sometimes a 14. I am lucky to be well-endowed in the chest and fortunate that my figure is curvy and proportioned.
Some people say that being heavy is like a horrible disease and that being thin is the only way to live a satisfying life. I know that I could definitely stand to lose 50 lbs, but I know that I still take care of myself, eat healthy and try to get exercise too. It's not like I can't run up 5 flights of stairs or tie my own shoes.
So, anyway...as I was reading online different blogs on people's opinions of Fat Chicks (also refered to as Chubby Girls, Fat Girls, Fat Chicks, BBW, etc)...there is a movement of those opposing and making fun of fat people, hence the t-shirts saying "NO FAT CHICKS." There's another group of folks who support the beauty and attractiveness of larger women. Here's the link: http://www.bfdblog.com/2007/05/04/fat-girl-and-proud/ -- the blog talks more in depth about different blogs and You Tube video blogs that focus on the issue of Fat Chicks being attractive or not.
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- and there are some men that find larger women attractive. To each his own right? My boyfriends have always found me attractive, physcially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. So I know that I am a beautiful person. What is astounding is how men and women alike can be so cruel against women of a larger size, and publicly ridicule and make nasty comments online about fat women through personal websites, You Tube, blogs and social site like MySpace and Facebook.
The things I read in blogs and commentators on those blogs were quite shocking and I was in for an education.
Apparently, there are grades of fat women: pretty, plain and ugly. It's almost a class system within the Fat World. Girls with pretty faces tend to have proportionate faces void of double chins. These are the women that are datable (or f**kable, using lingo most men can relate to).
Plain fat women are usually good friends and guys will hang out with them, and if they are lucky, maybe pity or drunk sex. Ugly fat women have no chance. Women who are thin but plain better have a good body to get dates, if they are ugly, then they are on a level playing field with plain and ugly fat women. If there is a pretty fat woman, chances are that a guy will pick her over an ugly skinny girl.
Is this stuff true???
Overweight women have some important part in our society, as we see sales skyrocketing in plus size clothing, shoes, even jewelry. Fashionable BBW know have more choices of tasteful clothing that's sexy, stylish and affordable through stores such as Torrid and Lane Bryant. Clothing lines are now exclusive for size 14-24 and designers are getting the message that not all women can wear fashion in a size 2.
There are now porn sites that are dedicated to large...and VERY large women. According to some other bloggers, these are the most visited porn sites on the Internet. Obviously, either men are attracted to large women or fascinated that people who are extremely fat have sex.
Models and actresses such as Queen Latifah and Nikki Blonsky are beautiful women, in my opinion. But do men find them attractive? Are men attracted to larger women -- do they have to be pretty or have a GREAT personality?
The other question is, is it "acceptable" for a normal to skinny guy to date a woman? Our society teaches us to date people who are at least as attractive as us, or even better-looking. Is that why we can't picture a hot guy with a chubby chick? We see fat and not-so handsome men (most likely rich, duh) with gorgeous, thin women. That seems to be okay. Then why not the other way around???
It'd be awesome to get people's feedback on this subject! What do you think?
13 comments on Fat Chicks or Chubby Girls, call them what you will...
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i feel for fat chicks and guys that prefer them. popular society is to blame and the only way to change that is one happy fat chick at a time. i have lots of fat friends and fat family members and love them much. (i prefer thin chicks.) aside from the social battles i know they face i only worry about their health. yeah, i know that's a tired statement but a few of my friends and family have sleep apnea. and though i've come across thin people (i worked in a related industry for a few years) with sleep apnea, a majority could bring the industry to it's knees if they'd lose a few pounds. and some people are just as healthy or more so with a few extra pounds. the key is to know thyself.
because of my circumstances (disabilty and poor) i gain about 10-15 lbs in the winter and lose it in the summer because i ride my trike (see pic on my blog) a lot and eat less. i'm working on being able to ride in the winter so that i don't go so yoyo. my point is that i feel better after i lose the weight. wrongly or rightly, i transfer that to the way i think about my friends and family. i never, ever preach it and this is the first time i've ever publicly expressed anything about it. i've only tried to lead by example. you know "if i can, you can". but guess what. my family and friends, thin and fat, have not followed my lead. but i have accepted that. i'm sure there are things they do that i could or should do but am to stubborn to do.
i applaud you for bringing up this subject and well written too.
Well there is a lot to comment on here, and it looks like you really did your research.
1. I agree, "to each they're own", every time I go out the front door I see people together that I would never put together in a million years. I am guilty of some social profiling, I see attractive women with plain or even ugly guys and think either he must have money or one heck of a personality. I always thought that people just gave up and were settling for something that was more easy to maintain. For myself I have always been attracted to small, slender and athletic women, that's just me. The interesting thing is that my "taste" is always in personality too. I'm attracted to women with an edge, tattoed, pierced and wild, I'm not sure why it is either. It probably has something to do with it being complete opposite of me, a tall, 220 pound all American white boy straight out of an A&F catalogue. Drives my parents nuts but that is what I am attracted too.
2. As far as clothing goes, all of American clothing is getting bigger. We are the heaviest nation on the planet, there is more obesity in America than anywhere in the world. The average waist size for men is close to 40inches now.
3. Heavier girl porn, or even other types of so called "fetish" porn are viewed in my opinion, as spectacle. Like kind of a check this out kind of thing, not necessarily as a tool for self gratification.
4. As far as your grading system for girls, I'll be anti-guy and admit that things like that are said. I've heard them and ashamedly said them before too. But you can't tell me that girls don't grade men too.
5. I don't know what BBW means? I must not be up on my lingo.
Yes, to each their own, well put. I appreciate you sharing your two cents on the subject--always interesting to hear from guys about what they think.
You said you attracted to a certain type of woman, have you always dated women with these qualities or do you date women of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds etc? Americans are all getting larger, that is true. Does it have to do with economic prosperity?
I knew guys had grading systems for women--sometimes I just wish they weren't so cruel, you know? Oh, BBW means "Big Beautiful Women."
You learn something new everyday, eh?
JUST whats wrong with a woman /girl being 15 or 20 pounds over weight when I was a young Navy man (16 to 30 ) I use to date only girls with a few extra pounds on them after all heavy girls need love too, and they always loved to give a NAVY MAN anything he wanted to keep him happy , they had pictures of themselves with a handsome sailor and I had some good loving , we both were HAPPY & my father was right there's more bounce to the ounce !!
We have a lot more in common than I thought.
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Yes always with the small slender women, my four long term girlfriends were all athletically built or slender. Height doesn't really matter that much, but I like average and small but my first ex was 6'1''. As a people getting larger due to economic prosperity, I don't think it has too much to do with that. I think it has more to do with people being in such a great hurry these days. Eating more and more unhealthy for the sake of speed and the large amounts of processed foods that now pack our shelves.
I think you have a very valid point with the processed and fast/easy foods available. People are less likely to take the time to eat healthier, veggies, salads, lean meats, etc.
People have different opinions, but it stills by no means at all gives people the right to comment about certain body types. Everyone is different, everyone should be able to understand that on a certain degree. I'm not a small woman, but I'm proud of being a size 14 and not a size two. It's a totally different life perspective. I think everything has a reason, and some woman are heavier because of health issues, and other things. Not everyone over-weight person sits down to a box of mini-cakes and chocolate milk every night.
You are very right on the not every "fat" person sits and eats bons bons and purposfully gets heavier. Being a size 14 is just fine, or a size 24. It really matters on how you carry the weight, your height, bone structure, etc. The only time it is not good is when the excess weight is causing health issues. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog ;)
i find your blog entirely inspiring. i have always been a thin girl, and i still am. so i am sorry but i can't truly relate to your situation. but i have always felt a little self conscious myself. i was not blessed with chest, and being as thin as i am, my arm muscles tend to look too large for my body. i personally have always thought larger women are beautiful. i mean my mom has always told me that guys like to hug a person not skin and bones. but i just want to let you know that every has problems. and no one is 100% happy with how they look. have a great day
-Jane Doe
Thanks for sharing about your experiences. You are right, no matter what size or shape we are, we women always are so critical of ourselves. Beauty is such a unique things since beauty means something different to all of us. Thanks for taking the time to read my blogs...glad I can bring up topics and such to inspire people :)
Very interesting post. I have observed something different in my students. The number of heavy boys who are very popular with the girls has increased dramatically from when I was a student. In my day a heavy guy was not popular in the dating scene but these kids are more open to them than I would have believed before I started teaching. I hope the trend continues and jumps to the other sex as well. A few pounds should not be a consideration when trying to make a human connection.